Where’s my Christmas spirit?

I have to admit, every year around Christmas, I get all smug because I pride myself on being able to handle the busyness of the season and even enjoying it when others seem to stress out. Now that I actually have things going on in my life (hence the long gap of time between entries), I can kind of see where people are coming from now. I’m really wanting things to slow down, way down.

My mom got me to take her shopping. It doesn’t take much for her to make me feel guilty, even when I have no reason to feel that way. For example, a couple of weekends ago, Patrick and I went down to Cool Springs just to look for some item, I don’t remember what. Something fairly specific. Anyway, I didn’t want to stay long. My mom called me and asked where I was (ALWAYS the first thing that she says when I answer the phone) so I replied “I’m in Cool Springs, Patrick and I are shopping.” Her response: “Without me?” GEEZ mom, yeah, can I go shopping without you now and then? So I promised her a shopping day.

So yesterday I took her to the mall, and I was all prepared for Christmas shopping nightmares but it actually wasn’t too bad – quite pleasant, actually. I think the fact that the Tennessee Titans had a game yesterday probably helped clear out the malls a LOT. Anyway, even though it wasn’t the chaotic mess I thought it would be (and to think, in the past I would face Christmas shopping head-on!) it still seemed like my patience was being tested at every corner. Traffic, crowds, lines, just the whole thing. I wonder if it’s something that’s irritating me the older I get… last year I remember being frustrated with traffic, but not much other than that.

She was really grateful, and I did get a chance to have coffee and catch up with my mom for some quality mom-daughter bonding time I don’t get so often anymore that I’m moved out and on my own. I got her a Starbucks Gingerbread latte since I had a couple of gift cards – she wasn’t too impressed, and she DEFINITELY was not impressed when she saw that the price of two coffee drinks ended up being $7.10. “Seven dollars for two cups of coffee?” she says. Yep! Good thing I have my gift cards. So it was nice, but I did have to do some deep breathing exercises a couple of times during the day.

So I’m no longer as jolly as I used to be during this time of year. I’m not sure what it is – maybe it’s the economy, maybe it’s having dealt with some big family issues this year, I don’t know – I haven’t felt very joyful as I have in the past. I haven’t been that excited about decorating or thinking of gifts for people or anything. I have given a little more than usual this year and actually volunteered some of my time, but things still feel off this year. I’m not the only one who feels this way, too – other friends have felt the same way. My neighbors have actually hung up more lights this year than all the other years we’ve lived here – I wonder if they too are trying to get into the spirit or if they really have gotten there. Anyway, hopefully by Christmas day I will be laughing and shaking like a bowl fully of jelly instead of channeling Scrooge McDuck!