A tumultuous year it has been

This has been a tumultuous year for me…

I lost my father this summer after a year and a half long battle with stage 4 lung cancer. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to go through. The last couple of months of his life were extremely tough. It was combined with me having to relocate to an office an hour away from home for my job, so that complicated things a bit. I have learned through my experience with my dad what exactly I am capable of, how strong I can be, who I really turn to for support, and who are my most loving friends. It’s been almost five months since my father passed, but I think I’m at peace. I still get emotional and of course I miss him every single day but I feel that I am at a healthy place in my life, and I have Patrick and my wonderful friends to thank for that.

As far as the job relocation and new position… although transitioning to a new office while going through my father’s last months with him were rough, I could not have asked for a better support system at work. My new job is in a construction field office and out on a construction job site, so most of my coworkers are men. Including myself, there are 4 women in an office of 26 people, and my construction crew is made up of 17 men and 1 woman. The office guys are all great, and when I came back to work, they were exactly how you’d expect guys to be – they didn’t ask any questions, but expressed some concern and support without getting too wordy or mushy, which is exactly what I needed. And, they always were successful in making me smile. It’s like having lots of brothers. My construction crew is also pretty good. I didn’t know what to expect going from an office to a construction job site – I guess I expected a lot of male chauvinism and being treated like a little girl, but the crew has been very respectful of me, and I learn a lot about myself in my interactions with them. In the field as well as in the office, it seems as though they all accept me as “one of the guys” which makes for a fun workplace most days.

I miss my dad and I think about him all the time, but hopefully he rests well knowing that even though I can take care of myself (mostly), there are several people around me who are there for me and can take care of and protect me if need be. Patrick was there with me and for me, holding my hand even as my father took his last breath, and through the rest of that crazy week following. He was strong for me when I couldn’t be, and he dealt with all the chaos of my family flying in, the Thai community basically taking over our lives for a week, and the seemingly endless mourning ceremonies with the most grace and patience I’ve ever seen. I’m the luckiest girl alive to have a husband like him, and maybe that’s kind of gooey and all, but it’s the truth.

The holidays will be hard on all of us, especially for my mother, but I know our friends and relatives will help us get through it. There is a lot more that I’m feeling and thinking about everything in my life at the moment, but I’ll save it for the next entry, or maybe over a cup of coffee with a pal.